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A few weeks ago, I was enjoying a 4-pm chat over hot cups of tea and Toblerone chocolate bars with four of my loveliest, most brilliant, wonderful English girlfriends when we started talking about the difference between f*cking and kissing.It was a gorgeously lazy Sunday afternoon, and I felt cozy tucked into my friend Sara's Brooklyn Heights apartment. I can guarantee you, your date has probably spent just about as much time thinking about how the night is going to end as you have. If you’re on your first date, the good-night kiss is almost ritualistic; I’m sure you’ve already gamed out in your head the moment you’re standing on her porch (or sitting in the car in front of her apartment building or what-have you), you’re saying your good-byes and how you had a great time and want to do this again and you can feel your palms sweating as you’re not sure whether to go for the kiss or a hug, whether to go for the cheek or the lips or just to just damn the torpedoes and hope that you’re getting a good-night beej instead of a dry peck on the lips. Ya might as well give a kiss on the cheek if you’re going to do this. A bone dry peck with tight, dry, rigid lips is about as unsexy as it gets. You may be overeager to show “what a great tongue” you have, but it is unwise to do that if you can’t do it without making a huge mess. If you move face far to the side, it signifies a kiss on the cheek. This is in the family of the Accidental Kiss, only this smooch is intended. It’s good to be enthusiastic about a kiss, but this one is beyond enthusiastic. This is a preference thing, but some of the things that can make a kiss taste really bad are: cigarettes, onions, garlic, tuna fish, stinky cheese and halitosis. If a kiss makes a woman’s face wet, something has gone terribly wrong. The guy went to kiss my cheek and I went to give him my cheek and we both went opposite directions and BLAMO! You can avoid this kissing mishap by giving clear spacial signals to your date. It may include biting, forceful shoving of a tongue down the throat, full tonsil exploration, and face eating. The rest of those things, please avoid if you plan to kiss someone for the first time in the next 6-12 hours.
Tell your kissing partner what you like and they'll reciprocate—communication is the best way to make sure everyone is having fun. A first kiss is a private affair, and it should happen in a private setting.
I've cultivated an English group of girlfriends in my hometown of New York, and I unabashedly adore English girls.
They tend to lack the inherent cattiness of American girls, attain the ability to make me laugh so hard that tea flies out of my nostrils and have far less hang-ups and issues than us anxious, complicated American girls (myself included).
It's always the seemingly simple question that's the most wildly complex and loaded with deeper hidden implications.
Within seconds, I found myself deeply reflecting back on my own sexual encounters.